Reflectionz · 04

Moving
Forward.

Sleep is back. Jak Jak is at my feet. The articles keep going. And somewhere between Daoist water-flow and Christian grace, there is a way to carry all of it forward without drowning in any of it.

Sleep returned

I've gotten my sleep back. It came when I entered a state of genuine freedom from overstimulation — disappearing from social media, stepping away from normal-world noise, quitting cannabis entirely, and walking away from the overthinking loop of my past mistakes. The burned bridges of friendships that never grew into anything particularly deep. The regrets of my twenties.

At times I do feel somewhat sad or in a depressive state. That is honest and I am not going to dress it up. But having to take care of Jak Jak — the best Jack Russell terrier in the entire universe — and being significantly closer to my parents has become the stepping stones of growing into a much more grounded man in my thirties.

The clarity to write things as simple or as complex as these articles. To learn the basics of recording — from 1080p to 4K 24fps on an iPhone, with controlled lighting and decent sound. It is a matter of pushing forward towards making things that are honest and useful. Not interesting all the time. Honest. There is a difference.

Not innately interesting all the time — because the attention span of this entire planet is lost to never-ending doomfeeds and parasocial relationships with the internet's virality hoarders. But it still feels great to write. To listen. To read.

The negativity loop — and what's underneath it

People forget themselves. And that is not being selfish — absorbing somebody else's struggle is not helping you grow. It is as relatable as loving a dark protagonist in an anime, or losing yourself in the Warhammer universe. You can enjoy the thing. But you should not make it your whole personality.

— The Psychology Behind It —

This is not a personal failing. It is negativity bias — a deeply researched cognitive mechanism that evolved as a survival tool. The brain subconsciously seeks the negative because, thousands of years ago, missing a threat meant death. That wiring has not changed. But the environment has.

Social media algorithms and news cycles are engineered around this exact bias. They feed the brain what it is already predisposed to notice. The result is that negative content feels more real, more urgent, and more important than equally-sized positive content — even when it has absolutely nothing to do with your actual life.

Letting your subconscious absorb toxic environments as "normal" is not weakness. It is the brain doing exactly what it was built to do in completely the wrong context. Recognising the mechanism is the first step to breaking the loop.

Moving forward means pushing the needle on doing hard things. Taking a whole bunch of Ls before you see the W. Letting go of things — and people — that are plain negative or dragging you backwards, because you have let your subconscious absorb them as normal. The exit from that loop is not sudden. It is a series of quiet choices, made daily.

Two paths, one river

I truly thank God. Letting Jesus into my life has pivoted my entire belief system. And I am not here to tell you to follow any specific faith — we as human beings come from different places and carry our own cultures that keep us connected to something larger than ourselves. Being good and being humble is universal. It does not belong to any one tradition.

Growing up in a Vietnamese and Chinese household alongside a Protestant Christian faith gave me two philosophical frameworks that look very different on the surface — and point at very similar things underneath.

Diagram — Two Paths, One River · Dao & Grace
WU WEI 無為 Daoist Philosophy · Effortless action · Flow with the Dao · Let go of grasping · Yield to the obstacle Water doesn't force. It flows around. GRACE Christian Theology · Unearned gift · Open hands, not grasping · Receive, don't force · Surrender to something larger You can't earn it. You can only receive it. SAME RIVER LET GO · MOVE FORWARD
Two traditions, one disposition: stop grasping. Flow around the obstacle. Receive what arrives. Neither demands perfection before you begin.

Wu Wei, translated from the Daoist tradition, is often described as "effortless action" — not passivity, but moving in harmony with the natural flow of a situation rather than forcing it. Both Daoism and Christianity, at their roots, share a similar orientation: let go of attachment, extend what you have without grasping for recognition, and receive what arrives with open hands.

Coming from a Vietnamese and Chinese background alongside a Protestant Christian faith — I carry both. They do not fight each other in my head. They point at the same thing. The Dao says: flow around the rock. Grace says: you do not have to move the rock yourself. Same river. Different names.

Gratitude — the most neglected practice

Gratitude is something severely neglected — whether it be from the smallest gesture to the greatest reward. It is fundamentally misunderstood. Most people treat it as a transaction: something good happened, so now I am grateful. But real gratitude goes further than that.

No matter what is happening — good or bad — the humility to take it in and push further forward is what truly distinguishes us. Our human minds and bodies are capable of extraordinary things. The grace we receive — that intangible sense of being carried through something — is an ethereal feeling I do not think any other creature on this planet gets to experience. We learn from our mistakes. We feel regret from doing good and bad alike. We feel reward from both. All of it is data. All of it is fuel.

I am not letting my judgemental brain dictate how I perceive other people or things in this world. Even when something looks wrong — the majority of the time, it has nothing to do with me personally. And it genuinely gladdens me that I can see and feel that more clearly now.

Be great.
Have the humility to move forward.
Much Love. DeDe Lifewater · DeDe OUT